There are so many topics within the personal development space that it can seem we are an entirely broken people without hope or prayer of being anything other than broken. Granted there is a lot of hurt and pain in this world and some will say festering on these things day in and day out has led to many of us living in a gray world without sunshine. I think in some respects this can be true and it is impossible some days to retain any prospect of happiness given the continual onslaught of challenges, pain, hurts and barriers we all face.
In everyone’s life though we all come to a point where we do have to make a choice on our own outlook and how we will move forward in peace. This true north conscious choice of what is right for us and how we will live being at the core of what we will stake our life truth on. It will become our voice, drive our opinions and decisions, influence all of our choices and give us that meaning, purpose, fulfillment and center of what life is about for us. This path may not be like anyone else’s and that can end us causing it’s own strain of pain but if we listen to our hearts and minds we will know that our voice is not one that always has to be silenced because we know it is different than another voice.
When you think about who you are at the core and what you deeply believe in that is right for you what does that look like?
Fitting in Someone’s Physical View
When we think about our bodies we often see what is wrong with them. We see lumps, bumps, marks, scars, and wrinkles. We see what is not there and what doesn’t fit in to how we are supposed to look physically. We look at ourselves in disgust and maybe even hatred. We punish our bodies through words,thoughts, clothes, shoes and even food and drinks.
I’m betting everyone reading this post right now can find 5 things they don’t like about their body and not even have to think about it. For me, it’s the frizzy gray hairs starting to pop out of my head here and there. It’s my arms that have a sagging flab and my thighs that rub together when I walk. Yes I see these things every time I’m standing in front of the mirror waiting for the shower to get hot. I hurry under the warm water and shut the shower door so I don’t have to see it for very long. Yet it’s my body. It’s the body that carries me through each day with stress, challenge despite me taking care of it. It’s the body that falls into bed exhausted from doing and caring all day without much time for itself. Yet it continues on every day getting me through it all.
When I think about what size I’d like to be and what is actually in the tag of my pants I feel pain. I know I have let my body down in how it could look and feel it’s best. I always say I will do something about it and then weeks will pass. I realize I don’t look like I want to look and yet I struggle with how to change that. I think at the core its why I want to change it. Mostly it’s because I don’t feel good about myself because per society rules if you wear a certain size you are considered big or fat or obese and there is little exception to that opinion. It’s like you become less of a person, less worthy, less beautiful because of that.
Changing your body image requires us to let go of what others think, say, believe and perceive about our pant sizes. Honestly we could all do better if we let go of these things in general but particularly when we think about our weight and size it is a decent start.
I won’t claim I can love myself all the time every day. There are days I know I’m not doing my best at self-care or self-love. It is sometimes an uphill balance of time, energy, motivation and circumstance. It however doesn’t make the need for self-care and self-love from going away.
We can preach all day about the need for exercise, diet, sleep, mindfulness and connection all day but until we personally realize the priority for these things in our own day it is all just noise. It is something else to feel guilty about not achieving and not living up to the expectations of society and ourselves. This then snowballs into a further deeper problem of disconnecting from ourselves and growing in dislike of how we don’t fit in what people say we should.
My own journey on this topic has shown me that small steps are still steps. I don’t have to be graceful or excellent at it either. So I managed to eat well during the day and then that night I have a bowl of ice cream. That should not spell disaster. It should mean that I had a great day eating well and I’m still growing in overcoming a challenge or that I am truly giving myself a reward that I am thoroughly enjoying. Either one of those reasons means I am still human and I am still growing while accepting where I am.
The more we can love our present self where she is, what she is doing and what it leads to next is where we can develop the courage, strength and endurance to form our 2.0 level self. However, if we persist in a state of grief, anger, distaste, dislike and other people’s expectations we will struggle in getting down to seeing where we are at this very moment.
Where are you right now? What’s going on in your heart and head? What is that inner voice telling you about what is right for you? What is your body saying that you have been ignoring for too long? Let it out. It may be quiet or it may be loud but let it out and follow it.
Not all the world is against you. Some days that is believable and some days you wonder. I know because I some times believe and disbelieve it too. As I’m working through how to listen more to my body and give her what she needs among the work deadlines, homework help and family needs I find it hard to believe some days the world isn’t working against me. Seriously there is only so much time in any one day and if you’re spending all of it dealing with problems, chaos and homework I get that by the time the kid goes to bed I’m exhausted! I’m betting you are too.
There is not a perfect answer but there is support where you can at least feel you are doing something to move in the right direction. For me that includes trying to find a couple minutes in my work day to close my eyes and breathe deep. If I’m lucky its a 30 minute free window I can walk outside and maybe circle the block. It is also the energy to not just grab what is convenient but to actually put some effort into putting together something that serve my body nutritionally. None of that is easy some days.
Where I struggle nutritionally and physically can be offset by using good things in my day like a solid natural supplement or natural element like lemon in my water. It is also recognizing when I just need to sleep and giving my body some support in achieving that which isn’t going to be leave me groggy or foggy the next day. It is also having grace with myself that I won’t win this battle every day but if I can progress 1 meal or 1 30-minute window at a time then I’m taking that baby step forward. When I can’t however, it’s not a failure but rather a time where I am needing to deal with other things that are priority and in much need of my time and attention. My body is getting me through that with all she has to give even when I can’t love and thank her back.
Redefining the Balance
We can talk about balance and priorities all day long but at the core is where you are right now and what you decide is right for you. When you make that decision consciously and in the spirit of love and acceptance for yourself then you cannot be wrong. It’s ok not to fit into someone else’s expectations of what your size, weight, activity level and diet should consist. It’s ok to live on your terms, naturally and in your own voice.
If you would like to learn how to incorporate nature into your life to help you be you and support you on a journey of natural health please visit my website.